My Pics Show Up in the Darndest Places!

It seems the folks at Claviné (pronounced kla-vin-nay) have both good tastes in sexy, celebrated women, as well as pretty girl photography.

Claviné selected the Goddess of Glam, Ms. Tera Patrick, as the U.S. spokesperson for their herbal male enhancement pill. ("Europe's #1," they say.)

Claviné also selected one of my pics of Ms. Patrick for the product's packaging. That's so cool! And even if they did choose a pic with a cliché, finger-in-the-mouth thing going on, it's STILL cool! Besides, what do I know? Maybe Tera's just demonstrating where the pills are supposed to go when people use them? You know, showing they're to be taken orally and not, uhhh... never mind. Whoa! Waitaminute. I am probably wrong here. Tera showing people how to take the pills by putting her finger to her mouth wouldn't be too complimentary to the average group-IQ of Claviné's consumers. Insulting your customers ain't the best way to brand and market a product. So, yeah, I guess I am wrong about why they chose the finger-in-the-mouth pic. Maybe they just thought its a sexy image of Tera?

What really tickles me are all the photos of the Claviné Car: A Smart Car "wrapped" with my pic of Tera. They're like "tears on wheels." Check 'em out!

Not that I need that male enhancement stuff or anything (*cough* *cough*) but I wonder if I can get my hands on some free samples of Claviné? I am the product's packaging photographer after all. I might even be willing to do a testimonial! Maybe I'd even be willing to drive the Claviné car while doing the testimonial? Better yet, maybe I could demonstrate, in the backseat of the Claviné car, that the product works? Wait. Do those Smart cars have backseats? Regardless, there has to be some way to try out the promised effects of Claviné in or on that little car.

Later on--much later cuz that's how I'd probably roll on male enhancement pills--and while kicking back behind the wheel, smoking a cigarette, and cruising around town with my demonstration partner, I'd pull up somewhere and do the testimonial while parked and smugly sitting in the Tera-wrapped Smart Car. How's that for marketing? Here's a more important question: Would I get to choose a hot-model/co-star for the demo/testimonial? Maybe they could hold auditions? I've got some free time.